row m, seat 17.

whew. returned this morning (omg, red eye flights are BRUTAL) from a whirlwind weekend in l.a. that included, oh, you know, the ACADEMY AWARDS (whaaaat?!?!), which i decided is a lot like prom for grown-ups but with a whole bunch of famous people who happen to be there too. you guys, it was SURREAL.

i don’t even know where to begin. maybe with the dress? i splurged on my first ever big designer purchase: this DVF cocktail ditty that i kind of fell in love while simply “looking” at barney’s (lesson learned, do NOT try things on if you wanna get out of there with your rent money, i lost all self-control as soon as i zipped that lil’ number up. don’t even ask how much it was. don’t do it!). if you could see it in person (the slightly asymmetrical neckline, the perfectly fitted empire waist, the amazing layers that look like artfully placed uber-fancy cupcake wrappers) you would understand my lapse in judgment. luckily, i got my patent-leather, stiletto mary janes at a sample sale for 20 bones so i feel like less of an asshole. too bad this photo is pre-accessorization cause caroline loaned me a vintage champagne-colored beaded clutch and karyn made me a beautiful sparkly bracelet and drop earrings so i wouldn't be blingless on the red carpet. and speaking of... oh, haaaiii, who's that there to the right behind cheryl hines? riff raff alert! thank goodness this pic is small cause i've got a real goofy look on my face which is not surprising since i walked the whole red carpet in a daze. lemme tell you what, when you arrive at the same time as rachel mcadams (whose dress was EPIC), it's really hard to get it together. especially when you realize charlize theron is in front of her (homegirl is amazonian, fyi) and SJP is in front of her (looking a little orange, i have to say) with matthew broderick and helen mirren is in front of them and you've only walked 10 feet. of course there were strictly NO cameras allowed so you have to take my word for it.

once we got to lobby though, things were a lot more chill (which may have had more to do with the free champagne?) but still totally bizarre. a few highlights: standing in line at the bar next to quentin tarantino and diane kruger (her dress was way more awesome in person), watching stefan narrowly avoid stepping on the train of demi moore's gown (eeep!), running into gabby sidibe in the bathroom (she is all kinds of adorbz), nearly bumping into zac efron (he really is just a baby!), watching vera farmiga try to walk in that crazy ruffled getup, and seeing rachel mca bro down with mariah carey/nick cannon and jake gyllenhaal while we sipped on some bubbly. oh, cruising by lauren bacall on our way out after the show wasn't too shabby either. and what about kathryn bigelow winning best director?!? watching history in the making was a super sweet bonus.

we had someone snap a sneaky iphone pic of us in front of oscar, cause who wouldn't want a photo with an enormous, anatomically ambiguous dude made out of fake gold? there's a shot of me on the other side of the statue, pretending to grab his butt (sometimes i like to put the ass in class, what can i say?) but i'll spare you that one.
afterwards we high-tailed it to canter's for some late-night diner food where we pulled up in the parking lot next to the mayor of sunset strip himself, rodney "on the roq" bingenheimer. talk about icing on the celebrity sitings cake. and how cute is my date?? i think the tux suits him. as does the vinyl booth. ok, the end. sorry for the monumental rambling narrative, i'm a little sleep deprived! tomorrow we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. thanks for indulging me!